Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Ever put yourself knowingly into a rut, and done nothing about it?
I can feel myself going there and was until last night happy to let it happen. It wasn't going to be a completely uncomfortable rut. But a rut still the same.
Then I gave myself a big talking to. And listed down why I would happily let myself do that.

Totally terrified of rejection. Not getting a job I want. I don't want to be told no sorry you're not good enough.
I'm equally terrified of getting the job.
Such a large change! I'm not qualified, how long till they work out I don't know what I'm doing?
Will I be any good?
Can I move that far away and so so so remote?
Can I handle the dislike that will occur from parts of the community?
Can I leave my friends?

Do you know what though? I might not get the job, so I don't need to be terrified of all those things... yet.
And what happened to living with no regrets? I will regret not applying more than I will feel the hurt of not getting it.
All my excuses are limiting God. I know I can't put Him into a box.
I know He knows what He is doing and if I get the job He has equipped me.
I know if I don't get the job there is something else out there waiting for me.

Fear is such a silly thing to let have a grip on me. How many regrets will it cause?
When will I release the stranglehold it has on my life?
It's my burden to let go of. Only I let it control me, only I can let it go.
Time and patience hey?
First step... fill out the application!!!

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